She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
