I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Someone signed my nipple.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
