Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
