Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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