Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
