so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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