Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
