I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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