We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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