Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
