This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
