i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am midnight drunk by noon
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
