I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize