Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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