I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
