I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
