Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
