u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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