they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize