Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
