like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
