lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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