I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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