Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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