I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
