Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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