i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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