nut hugger
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
