Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Houston, we have a squirter
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
