Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
