redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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