the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize