where does the pee come out of this thing
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
