Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i came on her dog
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
