no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
