Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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