I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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