I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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