Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
birth control should be required to get into college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
