haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize