ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
