Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
