so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
