I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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