hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
