So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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