Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
