This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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