we're chasing vodka with high fives
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
