We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize