I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I smell stomach acid.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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