I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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