GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
