I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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