can we get nightvision for the apartment?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
