remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
