He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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