If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
