When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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