we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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