I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
