That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
