I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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