She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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