What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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